** but I do block them.
I just finished reading How to Be an Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi and am inspired by the idea of active anti-racism versus passive “not a racist”-ism.
“The opposite of racist isn’t ‘not racist.’ It is ‘anti-racist.’ …. There is no in-between safe space of ‘not racist.”
He stresses the difference between being passively “not racist” and being actively “anti-racist,” which means you don’t put up with it. You take action. This is the part of me that struggles deeply with some of my dormant relationships that have for a while now existed mainly on social media. I lived in conservative northern Utah for a few years and married a man from a conservative family, so I have plenty of people somewhat close to me who support 45 and post racist anti-BLM memes and wear MAGA hats and—somehow this is connected—think the COVID brouhaha is a hoax.
On one hand, seeing their content makes me anxious and sad, and I don’t want to see it. On the other hand, the privilege of being able to tune it out by simply not looking at their posts does not escape me.
On one hand, people are nuanced and I can’t expect that everyone will see the world as I do. On the other, if you see the world through a racist, xenophobics lens, that’s not simply a difference of opinion. It’s dangerous.
On one hand, I can’t ethically entertain holding someone in my circle who defends 45. On the other, do I have to tell them why I’m peacing out? Or is it obvious?
This is not just about racism—although it is definitely about racism. It’s about humanity in general, and the lack thereof in a certain administration.
As a white woman raised liberal but also sheltered in rural New England, and a descendent of a long lineage of Puritan blood, I have to acknowledge the part that Kendi stresses about recognizing your own inherent racism before you move forward with trying to be a part of a solution. One of the ways I feel that I’ve been racist is to have relationships with people who I know hold racist views, but to excuse them for it because of their positive qualities or the nature of our relationship.
Here’s where I land on this, after a lot of thought. Right now, social media connections are one of the only real connections we have with our extended circles of friends and family. What we put out there on social media reflects deeply on our value systems and, presumably, the way we vote. The way we vote (and spend money) has a direct impact on humans. If you’re voting for 45, you’re endangering people I love. In fact, at this point, if you’re voting for 45, you’re saying you don’t care that, ahem, all lives matter—including disenfranchised black ones. And if you don’t care about people—ALL PEOPLE, EQUALLY—frankly, I don’t want you having access to intimate moments I post about my family.
How do I feel about this? Sad. Confused. And like I’ve finally hit a milestone I’ve had in my sights for a while.
Ultimately, what made up my mind was my daughters.
Also, let’s be honest, right now, it feels good to be able to take control in even a small, symbolic way.
And by the way if you are reading this and feeling outraged at me, feel free to politely banish me from your social orbit—or reach out, because I would be happy to share my point of view interpersonally.
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What I’m reading:
They Go to Mommy First in the New York Times
What I’m listening to:
Unaccompanied Cello Suite No. 5 by Johann Sebastian Bach
What I’m eating:
Fresh morning mint smoothies from my garden
Thanks, Joslyn.
When I was still teaching, we had some heated discussions about anti-racism. One colleague used the analogy of the escalator: as a white person, I am riding a constantly-moving escalator of white privilege. Without doing anything inherently racist, as a white American, I benefit from institutionalized racism. It isn’t enough to stand still. You have to walk against the movement of the escalator. That’s anti-racism. I believe that.
One of my former students, now a teacher for the past seven years, wrote a moving essay he posted on FB declaring himself to be a “racist” in this passive-benefit way. And he has declared himself/dedicated himself to actively opposing racism. So great to see.
And you’re right: often the same people who spout racism (even while claiming to be not racist) are the same people who call the virus a hoax, deny climate change, and support 45.
Yes, I plan to vote. We’ve got a nation to save.
JB
good post babe. i enjoyed reading it. it is an important time in history no doubt. thanks for taking a stand.