I was hustling to get ready for a swimming excursion while the girls played nicely together in my room. They had sweetly propped their babies on blankets and pillows to show them books. “Aw,” I said to Phoebe. “Are you reading your babies to sleep?”
“No. They are watching TV.”
Ugh. My kids have obviously had too much screen time lately. Don’t get me wrong; they actually spend abundant time playing outside and engaged in rambunctious, imaginative play. Just now, as I was writing this, Eliza bounded in with her butterfly wings on and flapped them violently in front of a vase of zinnias.
“What are you doing?” I asked her.
“I’m pollinating your flowers!” Good girl.
But they also watch a lot of TV, particularly in the morning — a tender time of day for Mama.
I let them watch so many episodes of Princess Sophia yesterday morning that Eliza actually asked, “Can we stop watching TV now?”
Heartbroken, I assured her it was fine to stop watching TV at any time. But Phoebe wanted to keep watching, so Eliza did, too. When you’re a twin, the FOMO is so intense.
We really need school back. And we are lucky, because school is scheduled to start, in person, on September 8th. That’s less than three weeks away, a beacon of hope in the near-term future.
Of course, I am also a complete wreck about the idea of sending them back into the fray. While our Montessori school is exceptional in its planning, and I feel really good about the prep work, and Vermont is in good shape, the whole world is such an unknown right now. I’ve gone through the gamut of emotions about in-person school, and I’ve certainly gone deeply down the road of unschooling fantasies. I’ve sat with my “feelings” and tried to tap into my “intuition” and I’ve gone round and round with every mom friend in my orbit and also my therapist about the “right” thing to do.
It was the latter who suggested that there maybe is no “right” thing to do and that the best option is to simply make a decision and then live with it. I am pretty good at that, actually. I’ve lived with a lot of decisions in my lifetime. I just don’t usually feel like they are life-or-death decisions I am making on behalf of my entire extended family.
But I made a decision. And I think it’s the right one. Just this morning, they asked if we could “play school” — an increasingly frequent activity. I dug out some of the unused phonics exercises from spring and set them up. They flew through letter-matching and eagerly asked for more.
It’s time, and we are lucky to have an option right now.
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What I’m reading:
The New Yorker article The Therapeutic Power of Gardening was illuminating, but I actually didn’t finish it. I am one of those people who have found gardening to be a psychological salvation this summer, but I don’t want to dissect it too much and rob it of its magic.
The Well-Read Black Girl is an interesting collection of essays by Black female authors on the books that impacted them deeply and got them started on their path to being writers themselves.
What I’m listening to:
Just started a fun new podcast series called Scientology: Fair Game
What I’m watching:
Just started the show (Un)Well on Netflix and have gobbled up the first two juicy episodes on the fine line between wellness and cuckoo.
What I’m eating:
Everything tomato! The sungolds in my garden have been magnificent in particular.
