Drawing by the artist Michael Leunig: http://www.leunig.com.au/
Apparently we’re not supposed to say we’re busy anymore. At some point, being busy became a no-no, the word busy itself a dirty word. As far as I can tell, telling someone you are busy is tantamount to telling them that they aren’t worth your time and energy, and they take it quite personally. I blame this on the yoga movement. But I’m trying to roll with it.
The problem is, I am pretty busy. And I often find myself in the position of having to (or, more often, wanting to) turn down invites to things because I simply don’t have the proverbial bandwidth for anything else. I have a lot going on. And every time I tell someone I’m busy, I feel like a soulless dick.
After having a long whiny conversation with an ever-patient friend the other day, I decided to make an effort to stop using the word “busy” so that I can better communicate what is really happening for me. The problem is, I am not really sure how to find an appropriate synonym for “busy” that sums it up quite as nicely. Here are some things I have been trying out:
- I’m really scheduled out right now.
- I’m not making plans at all right now.
- My life is feeling pretty full right now.
The problem is, those all sound like veiled euphemisms for busy, don’t they?
I work a lot, it’s true. I am a freelance writer and editor, so my work flow is somewhat unpredictable. Last month, I averaged 75 hours a week in order to meet various client deadlines. I also wrote and published an e-cookbook. And made all my Christmas presents. I had to cancel a lot of plans with friends in order to make all this happen. I’m sorry about that, you guys. On top of the tangible stuff, I have a long list of creative projects I am always hoping to get around to. If I don’t spend a night a week doing something creative, I start to get twitchy. I also place a high priority on spending time outside. I love to hike and take pictures and get fresh air and exercise and get my blood pumping.
And I try, I really try, to spend enough time with my closest friends.
Not to mention, sometimes I really need to just spend some time with myself. Take myself to a movie, or go have lunch at Good Earth and read a book, or hang out at the library. And speaking of the library, there is storytelling night to put on my calendar, and speaking of storytelling night, there are several local ones that I try never to miss.* Because I love them. In fact, I went to one last night: Pints & Prose at Peri’s in Fairfax. I saw the always wonderful Dani Burlinson speak, as well as a man whose book I recently edited, Tony Magee:
To me, being “busy” means making sure that I do all the things I want to do. That’s what makes me happy. Let’s add that kind of happiness to the list: The Happiness of Being Busy.
* If you live in or around Mill Valley, the awesome Mill Valley Library hosts a storytelling night every 3 months, and it’s free, and it’s fun as f*ck. The next one is on Friday, February 1st. I’ll be there. RSVP
As a recipient of one of those fabu home made Christmas gifts, I am now enjoying the fruits of your over scheduled life. And despite my not having got to see you for awhile, your creative efforts keep you in my heart, darlin’.
Thanks for understanding me, my dear. Big xo
Besides the fact that I love your Hire Me button, I totally relate to this post! It’s especially difficult for some people to understand how writers are so busy when we work from home or in a coffee shop somewhere. They see it as a leisurely job, but we’re often putting in way more hours than the average, as your example shows. And kudos to you for having the courage to carve out time to spend time the way you really want it! Let’s not live a life that’s just a string of obligatory commitments.
Thank you, Sarah! I am always so thrilled to meet a kindred spirit who gets it.