As a freelance writer who does endless web research for projects, I read a lot of things that most people would probably find intensely boring. But I can really geek out on just about any subject if it’s written well. So my interest was piqued by an article in Harvard Business Review. “The Art of the Imperfect Pitch,” by Professor Baba Shiv, about how to work with different personality types in order to successfully pitch your ideas at work. Are you snoring yet? That’s not the interesting part.
Shiv talked about idea of the X Framework:
The instinctual brain operates according to what I call the “X Framework.” Like our primate relatives, humans are governed by two pathways that you can envision crossing in an X formation. One moves us from anxiety or fear to contentment. The other moves us from boredom or apathy to excitement.
When we’re experiencing what Shiv calls “highly physiologically arousing emotions associated with stress,” our instinct is to seek comfort and stability, and avoid excitement and stimulation. This is the instinct that drives us toward the familiar, routine, patterns, what we know.
But when we’re bored and restless, we crave excitement and lean in to danger and that which might be scary but thrilling. (Think: love.)
stress = excitement
comfort = boredom
Depending on your personality type, you might ride the anxiety–contentment train more often, or you might ride the boredom–excitement train more often. It’s a two-sides-of-the-same–coin type of thing. And we all have the possibility within our constitution to ride both sides—sometimes even at the same time.
Yet, no matter how hard we try, we can’t ever get to the perfect place. It’s a balancing act asking of us utter equanimity, and for most of us, the tendency is to abide in stress or boredom most of the time. Sound familiar?
Myself, I’m pretty phobic and excitement-averse. I generally strive for comfort and cleave to routine. I dig self-nurturing activities and tend to choose stay-at-home time over see-the-world time. I avoid uncomfortable situations, have never done karaoke, will never skydive or hunt abalone, and prefer to stay as ensconced in my comfort zone as possible. You won’t often find me at a party, but I have a rich inner life.
This wasn’t always the case. I used to leave my comfort zone all the time. “Oh Joslyn, how did that work out for you?”
Not well.
So in the last few years I’ve engineered my life to be rather drama-free and utterly predictable. One might even say monotonous. A year ago I leased a car and opted for the least amount of miles possible; VW was impressed that I hadn’t come close to meeting my annual limit by my one-year visit.
Lately, though, I’ve been feeling bored. I’m antsy. I’ve been in a stick-my-wet-fingers-in-the-socket-just-to-see-what-will-happen kind of mood. This is not good. This is when I seem to get myself in trouble.
So I’m trying to channel my angst into productive outlets, rather than power outlets. Thus, the manic crafting and rabid hiking. And why I remain firmly committed to being a half-assed Buddhist, able to sit back and observe boredom for what it is: simply the flip side of contentment.
The “fully committed half-assed Buddhist” idea hasmade me wonder how a half-assed Buddhist would sit in meditation…
I won’t be content until I figure it out, but I’m not gonna stress about it either.