I’m taking part in a 30-day writing experiment. See Kale & Cigarettes for details and the Facebook Group to read stories by other 500-words-ers.
I am in quite a mood today.
Jon worked last night and I was up with the girls a lot, so I’m really tired, and everything is getting on my nerves: The fact that there’s grease all over the sink because Jon washed his climbing gear in a pot. The diaper pail, for being full again (already?). My feet, for being too cold. My oatmeal, for being too hot. The entire Internet.
I have these moments where I think—I actually think this—wow, it’s so easy having twins! I’ve got it dialed. Their dad (Mister McIntyre) works nights as an RN, but only three nights a week, so on the other four nights, I’m lucky to have a partner who is not just hands-on but alert and helpful throughout the night. My mom is visiting for three weeks, which means I can actually take naps and run errands. And I have not one but two incredible nannies, so I can work full-time, from home, and not feel bad about it. (Although, of course, I still do.) It’s a pretty impressive support system.
Even still, I often feel overwhelmed. Like, how am I doing this? How is this working at all? When do I get to sleep again? Ever?
The girls are learning to roll over, which is a pretty dramatic affair. Eliza in particular is simultaneously obsessed with rolling into her stomach and totally not okay with it. If I put her down on her back for even a second she rolls over immediately. It’s almost an automatic reaction, like when you try to balance an egg on the pointy end and it instantly falls over. I can’t tell if she’s doing it on purpose or if she just can’t help herself, like a magnet is pulling on her.
Over she goes. But then she gets on her stomach, gets scared, and wails for a rescue.
At night, with a lot of coaxing, we can usually get her to fall asleep on her belly with one leg folded up and her face smashed into her binkie. But in the middle of the night I don’t always have the patience, so instead I pull her into my bed and wrap myself tightly around her so she’s cocooned in an immobile position. My children will probably grow up claustrophobic and are definitely going to need a chiropractor sooner rather than later.
So we slept poorly last night, and then we had to go in for shots today, so now we’re ALL in quite a mood. I can hear them upstairs expressing their extreme displeasure toward the nanny, my mom, and their dad. And I am sitting down here in my office, with my iced coffee drink and my iced tea, diddling about on this blog post instead of doing the actual billable work I have to do today, and trying not to go upstairs and rescue them.
These are my biggest problems right now. They are not problems. I know this entire post probably sounds like one big whine. But really, I am marveling at how wonderful my life is. I never thought I would arrive at the day where I would have such fantastic problems.