You guys, having twins is hard. Is that not obvious? Sometimes people say “Aw they’re so cute!” (They are.) “Your life looks so great on Instagram!” (It does!) “You make it look easy!” (I do?!?!?!)
It’s not.
Doing even basic things that other people take for granted is a massive feat with toddler twins. I am not that great at it, to be honest with you. But I doubt most people would be. It’s not the natural human condition, trying to raise two offspring at the exact same stage of development at the same time. I mean, other mammals and even birds seem to excel at raising multiples, but then again, I consider humans an inferior species in many ways.
Having twin toddlers is like being stuck at the bottom of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. You’re struggling to get any sleep; you never have time to drink a cup of water; you’re so out of shape you get winded walking up stairs.
Meanwhile, everyone you know is constantly giving you self-actualization advice: Take epsom-salt footbaths every night! Go gluten-free! Try to do 5 productive or self-soothing things before breakfast! (Wink, Kirk and Alexis.)
The truth is, I probably won’t stop eating indiscriminate carbs until I’m getting at least 6 hours of sleep a night and not just finishing the food my toddlers spit out in disgust. But there are definitely little things I do to take care of myself. Like, for instance, I refuse to drink coffee anymore unless the milk has been frothed. My brother sent me a handheld milk frother and it has changed my life. And when I say “milk” I really mean half and half.
No, I don’t go to yoga much, and I rarely get outside. But I made two humans, so I figure I can ride on that level of productivity for a while. I’ll climb back up Maslow’s pyramid when they go to college. (And by college, I mean trade school.)
Oh I did get to go for a walk last night. It’s incredible what a little fresh air, some alone time, a podcast (S-Town! So good!) and a stunning alpenglow can do for one’s mood.