While doing research for a personal finance blog that someone had the sense of humor to ask me to ghostwrite, I stumbled across this random blog called “12 Straightforward Ways to Say No.” I was so enthralled with it that I am about to blatantly plagiarize a few bits of it.
These are the first two ways to say no:
[Start of plagiarism]
- Make it clear that “no” isn’t the starting point for negotiation.
- If you have a momentary lapse in resolve and become engaged in negotiations, take a step back and explain as quickly as possible that your response is indeed “no.”
[End of plagiarism]
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This is brilliant, right? If you want to read on, here’s the full article.
I am constantly saying no without adequate resolve. It’s something I’ve been working on for years. I say no, and the other person says, “Really?” I say no again, and they say: “Please!” And then I say yes.
Every time.
This has resulted in me doing a lot of things I never wanted to do in the first place.
I had a boyfriend (once upon a time in a land far, far, so very far away) who had a patented response he’d use when people tried to rope him into things he wasn’t into: “I’m good; you go ahead.” Somehow, that worked for him, to say no without actually ever saying no.
And I have a wonderful, amazing friend—let’s call him Simon Coconut Pace—who has never in his life returned a phone call he didn’t feel like returning. He is my hero in so many ways, and his disaffected boundaries are a big one.
This blog post on saying no with conviction is my new Bible.
Incidentally, I usually try to write about something thematically related to my dharma class each week, but, sadly, I played hooky tonight. Happily, I played hooky because one of my favorite musicians was in town—Patty Griffin. I found this out yesterday and promptly splurged on a compulsive ticket. What is life for if not sudden fits of musical irresponsibility?
Upon buying this ticket I found out that hardly any of my friends have ever heard of Patty Griffin, which is a crying shame. Here she is, if you are willing to invest $5 on something pretty amazing. (Just click on the album cover and iTunes will launch.)
