Of all the concepts talked about in both Buddhism and Yoga, equanimity has always intrigued me the most. Because my chromosomes seem to be missing that gene.
In one sense, equanimity means that one abides in a calm, unruffled state all of the time (or tries to), off the emotional rollercoaster and completely detached from reacting to the turmoils of daily life. In other words: me on xanax.
There’s more to equanimity, though.
Right now I’m reading Against the Stream, Noah Levine’s “Buddhist Manual for Spiritual Revolutionaries”, a nice tidy little under-200 page book with fairly large letters that’s perfect for people like myself with self-diagnosed ADHD.
Levine describes equanimity (as paraphrased from the words of the Buddha himself) as the state of being able to retain compassion and loving kindness for all people, even when they bug you, while still keeping your boundaries and realizing that they have to deal with their own stuff. Or, as the alleged yoga guru I used to slave for would say, not accepting other people’s hot potatoes.
Everyone has to deal with and process their own karma. So when you try to solve other people’s problems, you’re basically kidnapping their karmic heritage unlawfully. This especially applies to the internal suffering of others. You can extend all the compassion and loving kindness in the world, but still, everyone has to walk their own path.
If I turn that around on myself, I see that all the processing with my friends, all the knowing how to ask for help (It always amuses me when people say they have a hard time “asking for help” because I could teach an Asking For Help 101 with all the experience I have in that arena. I’m that good at it.), all the desperate wishing that someone else would just help me figure this whole conundrum out, is not going to lead me to the answers.
Because when it comes right down to it, I’m the only one that can solve my own problems. And whether that’s due to karma or just good ol’ psychological development, it’s a sad fact that we are all alone in this world.
Unless you believe in non-dualism, of course.
(An article I wrote for examiner.com: Equanimity, the Authentic Expression of Happiness)
