The Buddhist concept of shenpa is a big one for me lately. It’s a Tibetan term that literally means “attachment” – a big theme in Buddhism. But this particular word has more nuanced connotations.
My personal verbal and spiritual hero, Pema Chodron, says that shenpa is “the hook of craving that keeps us mired in the prison of our own attachment. Or, to put it another way, it’s the itch that we can’t help but scratching.”
I’ve been writing articles for clients lately about how shenpa relates to our addictions and the things we crave: food, sugar, alcohol, coffee, cigarettes, drugs, whatever. We all have our own special thing. I certainly have mine. But for me, those kind of attachments come and go. I can be really into red wine for a while, and then cut it out for months and not even miss it.
More dire for me is the subtle mental attachment to my hopes and dreams. And that kind of rigid fixation can be just as debilitating as a substance abuse problem or an eating disorder. The older I get, the more frantic and clingy I get about what I view as my own personal dharma in life…. and not shockingly, the less it actually transpires.
Now here’s the catch. You ready? It’s not about shooing shenpa out of your life and trying to avoid it. Cuz guess what? That’s aversion. Whoopsie, just as bad!
And to some degree, shenpa—the attachment to things that please us, the craving for situations to be a certain way—can be motivating and keep us anchored in our real lives. It’s not about becoming a sadhu and sitting on a mountain somewhere for the rest of eternity.
But not, on the other hand, like that toxic ex boyfriend you need to get out of your life. That’s not healthy. And when your shenpa starts to act like a toxic ex boyfriend, well, then it’s time to kick it to the curb.
Sayonara, “shenpa”.
RECENT ARTICLES I WROTE ABOUT SHENPA
examiner.com:
Shenpa, attachment and craving… the lessons they teach us
Eating healthfully and avoiding shenpa
Suite 101: Eating healthfully and avoiding shenpa during your job search
ALSO READ
An eloquent essay about Shenpa by Pema Chodron
I just found your blog. I am currently reading a book by Pema Chodron in which she discusses shenpa and so found your blog while researching it. I loved this post because while I struggle here and there with chocolate and stuff like that, the real issue with me is my fixation with hopes and dreams as well. I have an awful time with that and making it worse is the thoughts about my age and yada yada yada…. Anyway, I’m so glad to have found your blog and am looking forward to reading through it.
I found Pema Chodron while reading through an Oprah magazine of all things: ) She really intrigued me. I’ve been dabbling in buddhist teachings of late – I guess I’m trying to find myself at 54 but geeze….I’ve been looking for a long time, lol. Anyway, glad to kinda meet you. Looking forward to more posts.
Kate