In Buddhism there are four types of person you can be:
- Clinging
- Aversive
- Delusional
- The Buddha
Most of us are an awesome combination of the first three.
In the enneagram system, which I have been boring my friends with for years, there are nine types of person you can be:
- Type 1 – The Reformer
- Type 2 – The Helper
- Type 3 – The Achiever
- Type 4 – The Individualist
- Type 5 – The Investigator
- Type 6 – The Loyalist
- Type 7 – The Enthusiast
- Type 8 – The Challenger
- Type 9 – The Peacemaker
These are shiny nicknames for what basically amount to personality disorders. For instance, I am a 6, which they call The Loyalist. What this means is that I live my life based on fear and the constant quest for security (an impossible and pointless mission, if you ask a Buddhist), and that makes me a really good friend, because I am terrified of losing people.
With the enneagram, again, we’re all a little bit of both, but there is one that defines you. You are born that way, and you will always be that way…. but you can work on being the best you possible within those boundaries.
With the Buddhist system…. same thing. Figure out which type you identify with most closely; then follow the prescribed remedy. So, for me—an aversive type (I know, shocker)—the remedy is Loving Kindness, or metta.
Not surprisingly, Loving Kindness is the type of Buddhist practice I am least inclined to work on. Because it means sending love and light specifically to those that bug you. The more they bug you, the more you send them Loving Kindness. This is a really tough practice, and is closely aligned with the practice of forgiveness that’s preached in recovery practices.
It’s also a practice spoken of often in the yoga world. As Walter used to say (Y’all know how much I hate quoting Walter—whoops, there’s that aversion again. If you don’t know who Walter is, consider yourself lucky, but he did occasionally have something useful to say. Although, to be fair, he didn’t come up with this himself. Viktor Frankl did. And Viktor Frankl had way more business saying it.): when you refuse to forgive, you emprison yourself. Or something like that. Does anyone know exactly what Viktor Frankl said?
At any rate, the thing that I find most interesting is that my two types (6 and Aversive) are so aligned. In fact, they are virtually the same concept. Sixes are afraid of everything. Aversive types are aversive to everything. You get the idea.
a friend of mine introduced me to a meditation practice called Toglah (or something like that). anyway, it basically means that you breathe in their crap (anger, pain, confusion, fear, etc etc etc) and breathe out Light, healing, Love, etc to them. it’s supposed to teach compassion. i understand where you’re coming from, since i’m not naturally a very compassionate person, so i was averse to trying it. but one day when my ex was pissing the hell out of me, i decided to give it a whirl, thinking, “meh, can’t hurt.” and i kid you not, within minutes, i didn’t hate him nearly as much. (note: he’s still not my favourite person in the world, but i don’t want to gouge out his eyeballs with a pencil anymore… or at least not today. LOL)
I’ve heard of that, and thanks for the input. I love new ideas. Maybe I’ll write a blog about that one!