You know how sometimes you think it might be a good idea to read a certain book, but then it turns out to be nearly unreadable, and by the time you’ve made up your mind to read it, gone to the library to check it out, brought it home, and cracked it, there’s a certain pressure to finish it? A totally made-up pressure devised by your own mind that no one else cares about at all or has any opinion on whatsoever? A pressure that has no bearing on your actual life because whether or not you read this book you will still be the exact same person after, and nothing at all will change as a result of whether you read it or didn’t read it? And yet, as a devoted reader, you simply cannot admit defeat?
 The culprit |
I got a yen to read some of the classics that I missed back in my school days, so I went to the library and checked out Of Human Bondage by Somerset Maugham. I have always had a feeling I’d like this book, based on nothing except the dramatical name and half of another Maugham book — Razor’s Edge — I read about twenty years ago and don’t remember at all. It’s a respectable green hardcover with a conservative serif font and no picture on the front. It was written about a century ago. In retrospect, these should have been my first clues.
Of Human Bondage is 565 pages long, and so far I am reading it at the rate of about 3 pages a night. That’s because this book turns out to be more powerful than sleeping pills. It is really that boring. It’s also one of those books where you have to constantly stop and reread what you just read because you were thinking about other things — for instance, the likely potential of dying alone in the bathtub with the cats feeding on your decomposing body.
These are the kind of things I think about when a book is not stimulating enough.
What is Of Human Bondage about? Good question. So far, best I can gauge, it’s about a young boy who was born with a club foot (no clue what that means but hang on, let me Wiki it… Okay. Gross. Check it out for yourself.) He is orphaned at a young age and goes to live with WASPy, taciturn relatives who love him but don’t really show it much. In his loneliness he turns to books (ironic) and develops a rich inner life. Then he is shipped off to a seminary prep school where he is made fun of a lot while he decides whether or not he will become a priest. He eventually loses his conviction about religion. That’s all I’ve got, so far.
Meanwhile, I have a list about a mile long of other potentially more rapturous books I’d like to read, and at the very top, I’m embarrassed to admit, is the Twilight Saga.
I know.
I’m not going to lie. I really like those movies. And sometimes it’s just nice to read a book in one sitting. It makes you feel like you’ve gotten something done, even if that book is a culty teen romance thinly disguised as a discourse on the lifestyle of imaginary modern day vampires.
Do you guys think that maybe one day, the Twilight Saga books will be considered classics just like Of Human Bondage?
I sure hope not!!! 🙂