The “Two for One” Myth

April 18th, 2017

The only time you will ever see them looking so matchy and clean is at Easter dinner and even that is largely the Instagram filter

The only time you will ever see them looking so matchy and clean is at Easter dinner and even that is largely the Instagram filter

Here’s a phenomenon many twin moms are probably quite familiar with: the naïve young person who is so enamored of your adorable kids that she exclaims:  “Oh twins! I really want twins!”

I typically look them dead in the eye and demand to know why, at which point they explain to me their theory of “getting it all over with” in one pregnancy. Young women are afraid of being pregnant. I get it. Pregnancy is one terrifying moment after another, culminating in pretty much the scariest thing many women will go through in their lives. And there’s only one way out.

But I’ll tell you what, girls, being pregnant is in many ways the best part. Not that I remember it all that clearly at this point, because for some reason I did not journal while I was pregnant (weird), but I do remember one thing: I loved being pregnant. Not everyone does. Some people are really sick, or have issues with their pregnancy, and lots of stuff can go wrong. So what I’m saying here really only applies to an “easy” pregnancy like mine was.

Except for the part where my pelvis was in such excruciating pain that I could barely walk for the last three months. And none of my clothes or shoes or even standard-issue maternity items fit. And I had uncomfortable rosacea and weird itchiness and all sorts of other skin stuff. Wait, some of this is coming back to me now.

Back when “me time” was a thing

But on the other hand, when you are pregnant, it’s not just okay but actually encouraged to eat whatever you want and sleep all the time. Also, for most of my pregnancy, I was living in a brand new place without any friends, and my husband was working the night shift, so I spent a ton of time by myself. It was amazing. I love being alone. 

I haven’t been alone in 2 ½ years.

When you are pregnant with twins, you are full of promise, quite literally. You can spend all that alone time imagining the beautiful life you are going to have together, the ways in which you plan to be The Best Mother of All Time. You spend hours and hours and hours dreaming up whimsical and poignant baby names. You engage in luxurious ethical discussions with your husband about the merits and drawbacks of circumcision. It’s magical. The situation is so infused with possibility. 

After you give birth to twins, you never sleep again. Ever. So that’s one thing. And having twins is pretty wheels off in every other way, too. It’s also totally fucking amazing. It really is. It’s this weird combination of “I feel so lucky and special” and “I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.”

If you are a young, starry-eyed someday-mom-to-be, do yourself a favor and don’t wish twins upon yourself. It’s better if it “just happens to you,” trust me.

Share Button

Leave a Reply

Back