The Rules of Goal-setting
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It can’t be more than a page.
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You have to remember who you are.
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It’s not about losing all the weight, getting rich, or mastering a skill you have no business doing. It has to be realistic.
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There’s gotta be some joy in there.
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Set the goals. Let em go.
I have had a goal-setting practice for as long as I can remember. I love goal-setting because it gives you a chance to stop spinning, look deep, and set some intentions. The older I get, the better I get at being realistic with my goal-setting, and also at letting go when things don’t work out. Each New Years, when I look back at what I hoped to accomplish that year, I inevitably laugh at myself multiple times.
Often, though, I am surprised and impressed about what I did somehow manage to accomplish. In our day to day it can he hard to see the proverbial forest. The trees are all-consuming.
However, I don’t have to squint too hard through my retrospective lens to acknowledge one huge thing I did this year: moved my entire family, including two crazy toddlers and a fragile Italian greyhound, most of the way across the country to start a new life in a place that feels right to everyone.
That was my biggest goal when I set down intentions last January, and I did it. I made it happen. It was hard as [insert choice cussword here] but I did it… we did it. It took a lot of imagination, cooperation, strategy, money (frankly), a boatload of courage, and plenty of helping hands. It also took giving a house away to my husband’s ex. But here we are, in our beautiful rental that is just ours.
Take a moment:
Aaaaaahhhhhhhh.
I had some other goals. Here are some of the ones that Hey! Ended up working out!
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I made more money than I made last year with my freelance business. In fact, I had the best year I’ve ever had. I’m in a really good place with my business. I feel blessed super proud of myself for making this happen with hard work and dedication.
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I posted consistently on my blog, only missing a few weeks all year, and gave myself full permission to be a proud navel-gazer.
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Look into preschools for the girls. Hell yeah I did this! And they start next week!
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Care less. This might sound like a weird goal, but I am a people pleaser. I don’t like hurting feelings, and I don’t like when people think I’m dissing them. This tends to result in a lot of energy expended by me for no reason. It’s a work in progress, but I’m making slow strides.
And here are some goals I did not do very well. Back on the list, boys!
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Read more novels. This is a goal every year. Some years I do well with it. This year, I got bogged down in my unfortunate New Yorker subscription and crappy sleep options.
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More time outside. This was a backslide that I intend to radically alter in 2018.
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More water. Why do I suck so bad at this?
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More yoga. This one should have read “Seriously, any yoga at all.” Don’t tell the girls, but they are about to start a daily yoga practice with me when my mom gifts them their raccoon-sized yoga mats.
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More alone time. Good one, me.
The nice thing about slipped goals is that you can simply cut and paste into the new doc! See, silver lining there.
Happy new year everyone!
Happy New Year! I’m with ya on the goal setting.
I’d love to know what books you’re reading.
I am ashamed that I have not yet picked out a novel to kick off the year. Still trying to get through the Montessori guide I promised myself I’d read before my kids started preschool 2 weeks ago (er). But I might start with the latest Booker Prize Winner, Lincoln in the Bardo!