Virtuous to Depraved: A Sliding Scale

May 6th, 2012

Chart to measure the level of goodness of a person based on casual observation, according to my own personal moral code, and in the absence of more pressing ethical tests. This is a purely subjective scale and exists at the whims of mood and circumstance and recent conversations I’ve had.

 

People who unplug their modem when they leave the house so as not to waste extra electricity (eg my sister in law)

People who work with the elderly

People who compost

People who give people rides to the airport

People who teach their children to be bilingual even if only by hiring a Mexican nanny

People who eat meat but only “non-CAFO, organic, locally pasture-raised” meat

People who claim they donate to sperm banks because they “want to give single moms a chance to have family” but are really just 23 and in grad school and need money to buy pot

People who occasionally wear a vintage rabbit fur vest but only because it was a hand-me-down and really, really cute

People who “reply all” to social invitations for no reason

People who still think that the phone is the best way to contact someone

People who exaggerate the French pronunciation of “croissant”

People who correct other people’s pronunciation of random foreign words one would have no practical reason to know how to pronounce

People who use Facebook to robotically promote platitudes and messages of vapid positivity ad nauseum

People who are vegan and like to talk about the righteousness of it but have problems with honesty, integrity and kindness in their actual human relationships

People who kill spiders

People who talk or text through movies, concerts, comedy night or storytelling events

People who are rude to waitresses

 

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2 Responses to “Virtuous to Depraved: A Sliding Scale”

  1. Nigella says:

    Ha! Well, I am a lazy composer, but I have been known to pronounce Macaron the French way after the cashier at the local bakery said Macaroon. However, I did go to baking school (by way of excuse) and I am quite conscientious about silencing my phone and I am nice to spiders and waitresses.

  2. outsideeye says:

    it’s so funny you say that. I have actually been wondering how to pronounce “macaron.” I am taking French lessons and planning a baby shower. These things come in handy.

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