I once had a boyfriend who would get incredibly annoyed at me for changing my mind about the little things. For instance, days after telling him that I don’t like chocolate, I changed my mind and ordered chocolate something-or-other. He freaked: “You are so unreliable! I can’t trust anything you say! If you lie about the little things, how can I trust you about the big ones?”
Clearly, that relationship had other issues. Still, I really didn’t see the problem. I didn’t like chocolate yesterday. Today, I like it. I changed my mind, which, as anyone knows, is a girl’s prerogative.
So I am going to be a classic hypocrite here and contradict the very first blog post I ever wrote…. the one about how I only make New Year’s resolutions that are based on things I already am inclined to do? Let’s face it, this year, were I to make that sort of resolution, it would end up being something along the lines of: “I vow to sleep late every day, eat a lot of sugar, and subversively smoke cigarettes on almost a daily basis while claiming to be a nonsmoker.” Yup, there’s not a lot of raw material to work with right now.
So instead, this year, I’m going to go against my own nature and make some proactive New Year’s resolutions.
- I vow to read a page from my favorite Pema Chodron book Living With Uncertainty every morning when I wake up – which I already do, actually. But I won’t just scan it, like I tend to do; I will actually read it, and absorb it, and see if I can carry it into my day in some small way. This book is the Bible of mental health, as far as I am concerned. You should all go out and buy it right now.
- It goes without saying that I’d like to not smoke cigarettes, ever, and especially not as a lame tool for acting out and reclaiming my lost youth.
- While I’m brazenly confessing my substance addictions, in general (but maybe not every day) I should stay far, far away from my nemesis, red wine.
- I am going to find my way to my calm, unwavering center, and as a first step in that direction, I’m going to make a concerted effort to spend as much alone/down/chill time with myself as possible every single week, if not day, without guilt.
- And on a related note, it’s about time that I got a few certified friend divorces. This is gonna be the year that I move on from some of those old dramatical pseudo-friendships that never did get me anywhere except stressed and confused. I’ve been making a half-assed effort in this direction, but it’s time to get serious.
So that’s it. Good luck, Joslyn.
