The ‘spirit animals’ category

Why Are These Animals in My House?

June 18th, 2021

Screen Shot 2021-06-18 at 1.17.18 PM

I’m not necessarily a monster; I’m just a person who is very tired of her pets. 

This morning, our 15-year-old Italian greyhound, who has never been very much of a rule-follower to begin with, pooped on the rug again. I had just taken him out, standing around with him on the leash while I drank my coffee. Prior to that, Jon had taken him out minutes earlier. He willfully refused to poop, then came in and went on the brand new rug when I wasn’t looking. Again. 

We also have two cats. They are terrible. One is beloved and beautiful but clinically insane. The other is just the worst. Since we moved into our new house, they’ve been shedding like crazy so that I feel like I’m in the Wild West of dander-fur tumbleweeds.

The rest of the world has been adopting animals left and right to get through this pandemic, while Jon and I are wondering why we ever did in the first place. Every time another friend posts a picture of a kitten or puppy or turtle or rabbit or fish they are thinking of getting, I want to call them personally and warn them against it. It’s just a ridiculous thing to do.

Screen Shot 2021-06-18 at 1.15.21 PM

I mean think about it. We brought ANIMALS in to live in our HOUSE. It’s like, everything houses were invented to keep out. We now are on the hook to feed and care for them for their entire long loooooooong lives?

The absurdity of this situation. You’re a person, trying to exist in this stressful world, trying to take care of your children and get everything done and feed yourself and find time to go to the bathroom. But several times a day you have to take this animal outside on a rope and follow it around until it poops, then PICK UP THE POOP and throw it away! Does that seem right? Why are we all mindlessly following animals around picking up their poop? Or, worse, letting them poop in a box in our house and then scooping their poop out and throwing it away?

Anyway, I think you get my point. The returns are somewhat diminishing and, although I love the fuckers, I currently join my husband in the attitude that this is a war of attrition that we will win, if we are lucky.

One day, our house will be pet-free, and it will be so much easier.

Then, inevitably, I’ll see a tiny wittle kitten somewhere, and I won’t be able to resist. What on earth is better than kittens? Absolutely nothing. And we’ll begin again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

What I’m reading:

Don’t Play With Your Kids. Seriously. I loved this article because I hate “playing.” Don’t get me wrong. I love hanging out with my kids, and cuddling with my kids, and going on adventures with my kids, and even crafting and cooking with my kids. I just don’t love Legos.

What I’m listening to:

Ordinarily I do not recommend (or ingest) self-help, but my very good friend who really gets me sent me this episode of Glennon Doyle’s podcast — OVERWHELM: Is our exhaustion a sign that we’re CareTicking time bombs? — and I feel incredibly heard.

What I’m waiting: 

Abundant fresh strawberries while the season lasts. There is truly nothing better.

What I’m working on:

For Box: Ameriprise Financial: Uniting FinServ content in the Content Cloud

Share Button

No Comments »