Stressing Out About Relaxing

September 13th, 2019

I have been working way too hard lately. For my birthday, Jon got me a gift certificate to my favorite (and the only) day spa in town, Jasmine Healing Arts. I used it to get a “Japanese Zen Facial Massage,” which is a thing. It was only a 45-minute treatment, which I could sort of rationalize in the middle of my work day, and I thought it would be a great service for my tense jaw, neck, and shoulders.

And it was. The truth is, just the relaxing vibe at Jasmine Healing Arts is worth the money. The waft of essential oils and the wind chimey non-music made me feel like I was lying in a hammock in the woods, about to take a nap. It was blissful. My face felt very relaxed.

Later that night, Phoebe violently bounced one of those plastic spikey dryer balls on the floor, and it ricocheted right into my face. Massage, undone.

Bedtime is a circus at my house, and by that I mean there are literally acrobatics and daredevil tricks happening up until the very minute they pass out. Eliza has been working on her handstands against the wall, something I personally don’t even like to do in yoga class, never mind at bedtime. I sometimes wonder why I pay for them to go to circus class at NECCA, which is probably where they get these moves.

Last night the Democratic Primary debates were on, and I really wanted to watch them. We obviously don’t usually have screens going at bedtime, but I convinced myself that on this “special occasion” I could have the debate streaming on our iPad while the girls did their last few rounds of acrobatics through my room (which is across the hall from theirs).

Naturally, they were entranced by the screen. I used this as a teaching moment. “Girls, these are the debates. One of these people is going to be our next President. And because we are lucky and live in a Democracy, Daddy and I get to help choose that person. So we are watching this to learn what each of them will do as President.”

They were understandably unimpressed. I mean, let’s be honest, I myself am unimpressed. A few minutes later, they were both zipped up in a children’s sleeping bag, wiggling across the room like a blind, spastic caterpillar about to give itself a black eye on the corner of our fancy Japanese platform bed that we hate.

After I finally put them to bed, I rewound the debates back to the start with my full attention. Before I did that, I took half a Xanax, lit a soy candle, put some patchouli balm behind my ears, and brewed chamomile tea w a dollop of DIY CBD oil. I was almost relaxed enough to handle it.

Thinking of getting a lobotomy to handle the actual election day.

What I’m watching:

The latest Primary debate. Still have no clue. But this beautiful little soliloquy from Mayor Pete was pretty damned touching.

What I’m listening to:

This story by Mishka Shubaly is one of the most well-told and entertaining Moth stories ever. 

What I’m reading:

Just finished Fleishman Is in Trouble by Taffy Brodesser-Akner and wow.

This article in the Atlantic: The Bleak Truth Behind My ‘Inspiring’ Path From Oakland to Yale (Thanks Vaness)

What I’m working on: 

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