The ‘twin mom-ness’ category

The Reckoning Week 44: Headstrong

January 12th, 2021

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Jon got his first dose of the vaccine, a moment we have long awaited.

He did not suffer much from it, aside from a sore arm and feeling, in his words, “wapped” for the evening, which was a great excuse to lie on the couch watching me dismantle the Christmas tree — a task I had decided absolutely could not wait one more day.

Unfortunately, I must have been high on meth when I strung those intricate copper string lights, because holy shit. It took me over an hour to unwind them from the tree, and I had to cut several branches off to free the elaborate tangles. 

Moving on from the holidays.


My daughters turned six, and yup, you guessed it, I cannot believe they are six, where did the time go, etc. (For the record, other twin moms, I finally started to catch up on my sleep at 5 ¾.)

They have always been incredibly headstrong, but we seem to be at an apex right now. On Monday morning — our first day back to school in three weeks — Eliza insisted on wearing her new “ballet dress” to school. It’s a hot little number consisting of a dazzling bathing suit with rainbow stripes on the diagonal, and what equates to a piece of tissue attached as a skirt. I agreed that she could wear it with tights and a sweater. 

Many, many, many minutes of indecision over the tights-and-sweater combo later, she emerged from her room wearing the costume backwards so that her entire chest was exposed and the thin spaghetti straps ran up the center of her, um, nipples. I said “Oops, backwards! Let’s turn it around.”

“I want it like this,” she informed me.

“You can’t wear it to school like that.”

“Yes I can.”

“No you can’t.”

“I’m going to.”

“No you are not.”

Et cetera. This is my life with teenagers who are six.

The costume in question

There are so many things I have to do as a parent that make me cringe, like explain to my sheltered, naive, headstrong six-year-old why she can’t show her nipples at school all day, regardless of the weather. Because during  our negotiations, she asked if she could wear it backwards in the summer, and I had to say, still no. Why? Because our society is ashamed of nudity and you, a female, are not allowed to expose your breasts — or at least the nipple part of your breasts — in public.

But a male? A male can totally do that. Honestly, some of the societal rules you have to explain to children are pretty ridiculous when you hear yourself say them out loud.

I won that battle, but not the war. She came home from school and immediately turned the leotard around backwards again, then wore it for the rest of the day with no sweater on, insisting it was more comfortable that way, and no, she was not cold.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

What I’m reading:

Just finished Hamnet by Maggie Farrell. Wow what a book. Devastating. I must now read every Maggie Farrell book ever. 

Who are your seven? Lessons from murmuration” by Courtney Martin

What I’m watching:

Sitting on some CES (Consumer Electronics Show) sessions this week to find out what’s new in the world of innovative tech.

What I’m listening to:

I am the nerd who discovers music at CES. This is where I discovered the Black Pumas, who I now love. 

What I’m eating:

It’s Joyless January. But I kid! I actually love this time of year, when, with the holidays and all their marvelous sweets behind me, I can focus on recalibrating my blood sugar again. I have been playing with a few sugar-free, flour-free recipes that were definite successes:

Yam + Plantain Curry (New York Times Food)

GF Banana Bread (Elana’s Pantry)

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Carrot Soup (Happy Belly Health)

Leftover brown rice mashed into porridge with blueberries and almond slivers and hemp seeds

Leftover brown rice mashed into porridge with blueberries and almond slivers and hemp seeds

What I’m working on:

A white paper for Confluent: Event Streaming at the Core of Industry 4.0


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