A full day of moving, several hundred flights of stairs, a seriously unhappy shoulder, two grouchy knees, an effing heavy mattress, a bed that just didn’t quite fit, a couple of incredibly generous friends, a trip to In’n'Out Burger for some animal style, a heartbreaking goodbye, two terrified kitties, a broken heater, a chaotic house full of piles, a gas leak, a dearth of hot water, a failed experiment with a makeshift shower curtain, a complete lack of cell phone reception, no internet for 24 hours, wine for dinner, a comedic surplus of radical ADHD behavior, and a contraband adderall later…
I’m back in Mill Valley. Where I belong.
Wow has this been overwhelming. One thing I’ve noticed while I’ve been so overwhelmed and feeling all ME-ME-ME? A lot of other people in my life seem to be feeling equally overwhelmed, for their own totally different (but essentially the same) reasons. They’re shockingly unfocused on how hard my life is.
Like when I don’t hear from my BFF for 24 hours (which is a really unreasonably long time for us to be out of touch), and I start to feel all sorry for myself that she doesn’t care enough… and then it turns out that not only was she dealing with her 2-year old twins and her own challenging life and her stressful job and her high-pressure work dinner, but she lost her new iPhone in the middle of all this and had to throw down $450 on a new one and of course didn’t have any of the data backed up.
Then I think, maybe my life isn’t really as hard as I think it is. Or, it is actually this hard, but so is everyone else’s. Which is humbling.
This is when a gratitude practice comes in handy.
We pretty much all know this one:
Om Guru Brahma Guru Vishnu Guru Devo Maheshvara Guru Saakshaat Param Brahma Tasmai Shri Gurave Namah
I’ve heard (and chanted) this chant a tetrazillion times, and there probably hasn’t been one single time that I didn’t focus specifically on the “Guru Devo Maheshvara” line. This one praises the Guru who constantly presents us with obstacles in order that we may learn how to surmount them. The Guru who makes us grow up, the hard way. The Guru who makes us stronger by not killing us, if we’re lucky.
Shiva, thank you for constantly trying to make me tougher. Maybe one of these days your work will pay off.
