Ugh. I did it again. I told someone I’m busy.
Every other day, one of my friends posts some sort of disparaging article or meme about “the glorification of busy,” and I feel a pang of guilt. I’m busy” has become a trigger phrase that is particularly not well received here in laidback, go-with-the-flow Marin, where so many people seem to be able to afford to live whilst being mysteriously underemployed—despite the fact that the average listing price on a new home in my town is currently 2 million dollars.
Apparently, it’s so beyond passé to be “busy” these days that it’s practically become the Eighth Deadly Sin.
Which leaves those of us who have a lot going on feeling like dicks.
I’m a freelance writer, so I have to hustle to afford to live here. I spend a lot of hours in front of my computer. Right now, I’m editing two books on tight deadlines, writing web copy for upwards of 3 sites, and fielding regular requests to edit and proof blog posts, articles, white papers, and press releases. Last week, I wrote five TV ad spots about cabinetry. And this is just the job part of my life pie.
Yesterday, I felt overwhelmed. I looked at my calendar and all I saw was colored blocks swimming in front of my eyes, with very little white space in between. So, I started making calls. (And by calls, I mean texts.) I cancelled every social plan I have for the next two weeks. I said no to every new proposition. I got ruthless about my time. And yes, that means I had to say “I’m too busy” quite a few times.
As Rachel Dodes wrote in her Wall Street Journal blog post “Busy: A Four Letter Word,”
“Saying ‘I’m too busy’ is, ironically, an extremely effective and non-confrontational way to protect oneself from becoming too busy.”
You see, it’s actually not that I’m too busy, although I will admit that I do a lot of things every day.
The most important of these things, of course, is that I am pretty ruthless about making time for myself. I spend a lot of time reading novels in the bath, trying weird hippie recipes from food blogs I follow online, and embarking upon ambitious craft projects.
Aside from all that I have going on, part of the reason I seem so busy to others is that I’m not really willing to rush or scramble. I don’t pack more into a day than I can handle. I always make sure to schedule things so I will definitely be on time. I build buffers into my time so I can relax and breathe in between things. Most nights, I stay up really late in the bath or watching mindless television or IMing with my boyfriend, and then I sleep really, really late. I rarely get up before 11, if we’re being totally honest here.
I have a lot of conversations with people about trying to get together, and often, those conversations end with them exasperated, saying “God, you’re always so busy” or “Call me when you’re not as busy.” I Just sigh, because the truth is, I will always be this “busy” — if that’s what you want to call it. With any luck, I will always have exercise, friends, solitude, and a relationship rounding out my time. And I’ll always plan most things ahead. And in that container, I will continue to be relaxed and present as can be.
Also, this:
Touche, Bold Italic. Just this morning I committed to a dinner at State Bird Provisions on June 9th. Yup. Two months away.
