Larks Versus Owls

I am not a morning person.

I believe in morning persons versus not-morning persons on a very deep physiological, genetic level that is permanent and unfixable. Trying to “fix” a non-morning person is like trying to “fix” a gay person, in my opinion and experience. In other words, it can’t be done, and why would you want to do it? There is nothing wrong with being a non-morning person; it’s not a character flaw. Except, of course, that virtually everyone else is, and the world operates on the principle that being a morning person is more virtuous, productive and ethical. Especially, it seems, in the Bay Area, where I live.

My natural rhythm—one that I have honed like a personal science over the years—is to go to bed around 1 or 2 in the morning and wake up at 9 or 10. Thankfully, I work for myself and can get away with this type of schedule. Not only do I not wake up until 9 or 10, I refuse to talk to fellow human beings before 11, and am really not all that productive or pleasant much before noon, if we’re being totally honest. I hit my stride, workwise, in the late afternoon, and my absolute peak time of day is the 8pm-midnight window. That’s when I am most alert, bright-eyed, full of good spirits and cheer… well, that might be a slight exaggeration, but it’s the closest I ever come.

Recently I read this article on PsychologyToday.com about how we non-morning people — which they refer to as DEs, or Definitely Evening types, cope in this world which is so biased toward morning people. The news was not heartening:

If you’re unlucky enough to be a DE, you are setting yourself up for a life filled with repeated cycles of sleep debt which you can never completely make up. As a result, you put your physical health at risk and ultimately become more susceptible to developing sleep disorders, which only further exacerbates the problem. Evening types are more likely to experience emotional instability, poorer handling of stress, and greater vulnerability to psychosomatic and psychological distress. (Read the entire article here.)

This, of course, only made me more determined to honor my body’s circadian rhythms, social life be damned. So I conducted a poll of all of my good friends and was not shocked to find out that out of dozens of constituents polled, exactly 4 claimed to be a “not morning person,” plus one friend who said that although she is definitely a major morning person, her husband is not. Out of my 4 non-morning person friends, 3 of them have to get up early most days because of work and so live in the world of morning people, grudgingly. That leaves me and my friend Caylie as the only two people I know who are not morning people and do not get up early. At least I am in good company.

I’m thinking of starting a support group for non-morning people living in a world of morning people. If anyone out there is not a morning person and wants to be the third member, email me.