This week in my Dharma class we talked about Near Enemies. I love this concept, and I think to understand it is to truly understand the heart of Buddhism and to cut through the misperceptions that so many people seem to have about it. So, here they are:
Love versus Attachment:
Pretty self-explanatory, right? If you love something, set it free, duh.
Compassion versus Pity
Compassion is when you understand that we are all human and we all are doing the best we can. You might not understand why someone is acting the way they are, but you understand that they have a reason for acting the way they do. And even if they do something you hate, you still have compassion for them. Yes, even horrible, awful people that do unspeakable things. You don’t condone their actions; you simply have compassion in your heart for their humanity and for the things in their life (or their culture) that led up to their current behavior.
Pity, on the other hand, is when you look down on a person with contempt veiled as compassion. It’s gross, and spiritually violent.
Sympathetic Joy versus Comparison
Sympathetic Joy is when you are genuinely happy for someone else’s good fortune.
Comparison is when you take it personally.
Equanimity versus Indifference
This is the big one. Being equanamous doesn’t mean that you detach yourself from experiencing life. It doesn’t mean that you cease to have emotions or bad thoughts or reactive behavior. It means that you stay in your calm, cool, collected center despite the turbulence of your life.
This is my goal and what I aspire to every day. And every inch I get closer to it is a huge milestone in my heart.
Wow Joslyn. You have written this in such an easy-to-understand way that I hope now that I comprehend, I will practice. I especially like how you explained how Pity is spiritually violent, I never got that before.
[...] in everyone, and also to find compassion for the things about them that bug me. Not pity (read something I once wrote about Buddhist Near Enemies like “pity” and “compassion” here), but true compassion: being at peace with others who are different, and trusting that, even if I [...]