We’re on week 2 of trampolines toddler beds. I’m glad we did it, because now that they are in toddler beds, it’s clear that they were over the crib thing. They love the beds, and what I mean by that is, they love jumping on them, climbing over the rails, and being super territorial with each other about them. But as you might expect, the toddler-bed paradigm has introduced a whole cache of brand new issues without solving any of the existing ones.
Let’s start with, well, getting them to go to bed.
If it was one kid, I can see how this would actually be a fairly doable transition. Having two definitely complicates things. Since you have to basically Jedi-mind-trick a toddler to get her to stay in her bed of her own free will, it takes two people and everything they have in them to make it happen until the kid falls asleep. If Jon or I try to put them to bed alone, it’s like playing whack-a-mole. You get one down, turn your attention to the other one, and the first one pops up, laughing maniacally. If you try to leave the room before they’re stone-cold out, turn around, and they’re standing right behind you like Carol Ann in Poltergeist.
The way this is playing out in our household currently is that my husband stays in their room until they are solidly asleep every night. Unfortunately, this means that he is usually also solidly asleep and doesn’t wake up until the middle of the night, when he comes scavenging into bed and wakes me up. I am such a light sleeper these days that the sound of someone quietly brushing their teeth from two rooms away wakes me up. If my husband is awake, I can hear him thinking. I can hear the sound of his eyelids moving up and down when he blinks.
There is literally not one single thing about having kids that does not promote sleep deprivation. I was always an enthusiastic and sound sleeper. Not so much anymore. I’ve become highly attuned to noises in the night. Transitioning to toddler beds has added a layer of complexity to this new superpower of mine.
Naps are another thing entirely. The other day, Jon and I spent about two hours in their room trying to convince cajole and finally demand LIE DOWN IN YOUR BED. At one point we thought it was a good idea to promise them a Cadbury chocolate egg if they would take a nap. Don’t even ask me why we have Cadbury chocolate eggs in the house, never mind where our brains are at.
Anyway, kids, bribing a kid to sleep with chocolate is a bad idea on so many levels. For one, they don’t understand the word “later” or the concept of delayed gratification. The mere mention of the thing led to a full-decibel chant of EGG-Y EGG-Y over and over again until we gave in. And my kids don’t eat that much sugar, so they’re pretty into it when they get a chance. Yes, we gave them each a Cadbury chocolate egg pre-nap. Needless to say, the nap never happened.
Oh one caveat I will add about all of this: My two amazing nannies, who are both 21 and have never had kids, can both put my kids to bed effortlessly and get them to take 2-3 hours naps every single time. So. It’s us, not them.
